Journals
First off, I just have to say, I really miss laying on my stomach! It came to mind because I want to my laying on my stomach right now as I type. I really wish there was a way around that, but there's just not.
Anyways:
I spent the greater part of today organizing! I think I have laid my hands on every item in this apartment, that's how it feels anyway. I went through boxes from our storage closet and made a huge pile for Goodwill. We never really went through our stuff before moving in because we had major wedding-minds. So it was so nice to clean everything out! I feel like we have so much more room. There's a little more to do, but that'll happen in the next couple of weeks.
While cleaning things out I came across several journal/book boxes. I have always loved journaling and have owned about 700 journals... but I have one that I call my "serious" journal. It's completely unedited; truthful; and straight from the heart. I started writing in it the summer I met Zach. On December 13th, 2008 my entry begins... "Without a shadow of a doubt. I know." I wrote how I knew as I had asked, God had allowed me to fall in love with Zach in his way and not my own and had made it perfectly clear that he would be my future husband. It's so fun to go back and read how the Lord has worked and to see it from a different perspective now. I traveled a little further and found an entry on August 8th, 2009. At the end of this entry I wrote how I was feeling about being a woman... how I didn't want to be living day to day "aimless" but I desired "...to be. To be the love I've learned. To be challenged. To learn, to bear burdens, grow, and be stretched. To be transformed. I'm ready to be the woman of God he intended me to be." I almost turned the page to read onto more entries when the date caught my eye. I looked at a calendar and realized August 8th is the exact day this year that we learned we were pregnant! Ironic? No... I would say it's God. Now, hear me out: I was in no way praying, through my writing, to become pregnant, but I do think the Lord answers prayer in his own way, and can I tell you... I have been stretched in so many ways this past year. I feel like we have lived life in the fast lane; from attending cosmetology school full time, to working equivalent hours at Starbucks and planning a wedding; the time flew. Not to mention, finding out not only were we newlyweds, but parents-to-be. But when I look back at the year, and I look forward to what is to come, I am nothing but thankful. I am so thankful that our God has entrusted us with these circumstances, I know he will continue to carry us through them.
My current prayer is that he will continue to transform me. He knows the woman he created me to be and my sole desire is to be that woman. I know it is a forever work in progress, but more than ever I realize what an importance it is to be intentional in our living. I have been given the responsibility to be Christ's love in an everyday way to a child, one that the Lord is entrusting to me and Zach. What a true blessing. Pray for strength, and growth... it's going to be one amazing journey. I can't imagine where we'll be in 365 days from today...
Anyways:
I spent the greater part of today organizing! I think I have laid my hands on every item in this apartment, that's how it feels anyway. I went through boxes from our storage closet and made a huge pile for Goodwill. We never really went through our stuff before moving in because we had major wedding-minds. So it was so nice to clean everything out! I feel like we have so much more room. There's a little more to do, but that'll happen in the next couple of weeks.
While cleaning things out I came across several journal/book boxes. I have always loved journaling and have owned about 700 journals... but I have one that I call my "serious" journal. It's completely unedited; truthful; and straight from the heart. I started writing in it the summer I met Zach. On December 13th, 2008 my entry begins... "Without a shadow of a doubt. I know." I wrote how I knew as I had asked, God had allowed me to fall in love with Zach in his way and not my own and had made it perfectly clear that he would be my future husband. It's so fun to go back and read how the Lord has worked and to see it from a different perspective now. I traveled a little further and found an entry on August 8th, 2009. At the end of this entry I wrote how I was feeling about being a woman... how I didn't want to be living day to day "aimless" but I desired "...to be. To be the love I've learned. To be challenged. To learn, to bear burdens, grow, and be stretched. To be transformed. I'm ready to be the woman of God he intended me to be." I almost turned the page to read onto more entries when the date caught my eye. I looked at a calendar and realized August 8th is the exact day this year that we learned we were pregnant! Ironic? No... I would say it's God. Now, hear me out: I was in no way praying, through my writing, to become pregnant, but I do think the Lord answers prayer in his own way, and can I tell you... I have been stretched in so many ways this past year. I feel like we have lived life in the fast lane; from attending cosmetology school full time, to working equivalent hours at Starbucks and planning a wedding; the time flew. Not to mention, finding out not only were we newlyweds, but parents-to-be. But when I look back at the year, and I look forward to what is to come, I am nothing but thankful. I am so thankful that our God has entrusted us with these circumstances, I know he will continue to carry us through them.
My current prayer is that he will continue to transform me. He knows the woman he created me to be and my sole desire is to be that woman. I know it is a forever work in progress, but more than ever I realize what an importance it is to be intentional in our living. I have been given the responsibility to be Christ's love in an everyday way to a child, one that the Lord is entrusting to me and Zach. What a true blessing. Pray for strength, and growth... it's going to be one amazing journey. I can't imagine where we'll be in 365 days from today...
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