On a more serious note:

My Aunt Monica sent me a wonderful book a while ago, "The Power of Mother Love." By: Brenda Hunter, Ph.D. It really is an amazing book, full of wisdom from a Mother who explains Motherhood in such a beautiful way. It is divided into three parts, and each part has different chapters. The first is: The Power of Mother Love in a Mother's Life, the second: The Power of Mother Love in a Child's Life, and lastly: The Legacy of Mother Love. I'm not through the whole book yet but I am definitely enjoying it and highly recommend it to anyone and everyone. Whether you're expecting a baby, have a baby, have teenagers, grandchildren, or just have a mother, it's a great book!

"Mother love transforms a woman, forever changing the way she defines herself. From the moment a woman first discovers she carries life in her womb, mother love begins its alchemy. From then on a woman can no longer simply think in terms of herself-- her body, her success, her marriage, her future. She must make room in her heart and life for another person, a child she will love passionately and feel deeply responsible for throughout her life." (p.2)

The things she writes throughout her book strike me hard. I love more than anything to hear wisdom from those that have learned so much, especially through a walk with Christ. Another concept she discusses in her book is the way pregnancy causes you to evaluate your upbringing from your own childhood. The way our mother's loved and nurtured us stems what we know of Motherhood, by simply being product of it. I have found that being pregnant has given me such appreciation for my parents; for both of them and for their huge love for me and Ben. There isn't a time that I ever felt unloved or unappreciated. They loved us passionately and still do. I couldn't ask for more than that. I think I have gotten a different perspective on my Brother through the beginning of this journey. For a little background, I have an older brother named Ben who has a disability called Fragile X Syndrome. I have always seen Ben as a sort of teacher, and time and time again, have referred to "disabilities" in general as what we "normal" individuals are cursed with, not people like Ben. Ben sees the world through the purest of eyes. He doesn't judge first, he accepts. He doesn't complain first, he sees the joy. He doesn't need a lot, the most simple things will always do. So what I mean by we are the one's with the disabilities is that we seem to be the ones that wear the "goggles" in life. We have to sometimes fight to see the positive, focus on accepting before judging, and we seem to always know how to complain about something. My brother is a gift, one of the greatest that I know of. I can't say it has always been easy, but I have always had the greatest appreciation for him and now, more than ever, I can say that that appreciation is transforming in a whole new way. 

Not only do I have the privilege of looking at my parents as examples while discovering and understanding what this "Mother Love" really means, but I have a third person, Ben. His presence and his quiet demeanor speak louder than words. He has taught me to enjoy the smallest of things, that every day is a gift. He is really funny, he always makes me laugh and has taught me the importance of laughter. He has taught me to enjoy opportunity because sometimes I think he would love the opportunity to do some of the things we all take for granted daily. He teaches me to smile; his is absolutely priceless. He is the utter example of kind, like I said, his smile says it all. I could go on and on, but the most remarkable thing is he has taught and continues to teach so unintentionally and with so few words. He is a quiet soul, but one that I have always seemed to understand- I think it's a special "sister telepathy." :) But we really have always had a connection, a special love. This love is one that I feel is so priceless. I find that when I share about my brother, people tend to say things like, "you're such a good sister." However, I know it's only because I have such an amazing brother. I want to share Ben's love, and now more than ever,  I appreciate it in a whole new way. 

It's hard to explain, but when I just sit and think about having a little boy, a son, I feel excited, and blessed beyond measure. A little boy?! I try to think back to how little boys are growing up. My memories from childhood with Ben are different than most little girls have with their brothers. He wasn't ever hitting me or grossing me out with bugs or reptiles. We played in the sprinklers together, would sit in front of the t.v. next to one another, completely mesmerized by Mr. Rogers Neighborhood, and loved to make giant cannonball splashes by jumping "on the count of three" into the pool. We were always friends. Eli, our little boy, has no chance of inheriting Fragile X because I am not a carrier of the gene. So as most of us, he'll be born with his "normal, goggles on" if you will. But I have the amazing privilege of passing on the things Ben has unintentionally taught me. Better than that, Eli has the blessing of calling my brother, Uncle Ben. I couldn't imagine anything more amazing than that. 

Mother Love is something that I am gaining and will continue to learn and understand and grow for the rest of my life. Now, more than ever, I am learning where that it is stemmed from; my amazing parents who continue to be more amazing roles in my life, and from Ben, the most gentle individual I'll ever know, who loves harder than you'd ever think possible. God has a plan for everyone and everything. He really places everyone in our lives for specific reasons. This life, so quick but so precious, is intended to be lived intentionally for his glory. He simply asks follow blindly and obediently by faith alone. We are so privileged to be apart of his magnificent plan.

 "Let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us. Let us fix our eyes on Jesus, the author and perfecter of our faith..." Hebrews 12:1-3