A Heavy Heart.

Lately, it seems as if the news has been pure chaos. I find it's just easier if I don't watch it. But I need too, we all do. On Friday, the 11th, the huge (8.9) earthquake hit Japan and as if things couldn't get worse a 23 foot Tsunami struck the Northern coast shortly after. In just one province, their police chief estimated that there were over 10,000 deaths. The tragedy is so hard to internalize. It's difficult to make a reality when it seems so far away from us here. It's proven that it's difficult for so many of us when just one day after the initial disaster, we all go about our business and continue to "tweet" about rainy weather and update status' about not wanting spring break to end; we all do it. It makes me so sad when I see myself falling into the same 'easy way.' It's easy to change the channel so we don't have to look at the 'depressing images' and it's easy to stop talking about it because the actual event has already occurred and seems over, at least for us. I find myself wondering what we're really supposed to be doing in these situations. I know we can all be fully aware of the situation and pray continuously. The country of Japan and the people there will need it for years to come.

It makes me think about when I was younger and I really used to think I would make a huge impact on the world. I used to think I would be world renown, that my name would be known worldwide for something great. As I've gotten older I have realized that isn't something that I'd ever wish for myself and isn't something I'd ever strive for. It wasn't that I yearned for the recognition necessarily, but at the time I didn't understand that we all have the opportunity to live a dynamic, purposeful life if we are centered in God's will. My perspective on life has changed so much and to sum it all up quickly: It's not about me. Everyday I feel like I understand that a little better. We definitely live in the "I, me, my" country, in my opinion, because everything is about what is best for me, how I can get more, how I can be greater, and how comfortable my family is. The American dream is so far from God's dreams for us and deciphering the two can be a lifelong challenge in itself; especially when we're living up to our societies standards. There is a book called Radical, By: David Platt that I am dying to read. I have heard so many amazing things about it and our pastor has referred to it a couple of times now. I was reading more about it online and this quote really stuck out to me: 

"We are settling for a Christianity that revolves around catering to ourselves when the central message of Christianity is actually about abandoning ourselves." - David Platt (Radical: Taking Back Your Faith from the American Dream)

It will be on my nightstand soon; I plan to buy it any day. I feel even more convicted about this whole understanding of future, dreams, and goals, as in a few weeks our lives will drastically change. We won't only be viewed by those around us, friends and family anymore, but to a child. One who will look for guidance and direction. He will learn who Jesus is not just through what we teach him, not just through Sunday School and VBS, but by the way we live. He will learn service and love through example. What kind of example will I be? When do we break these societal patterns that have corrupted our understanding of purpose? I am eager for change and I'm eager for what God has planned for our future. 

I pray that our hearts break for Japan... and for all the people suffering. 

Give me your eyes so i can see

Everything that i keep missing

Give me your love for humanity

Give me your arms for the broken hearted

The ones that are far beyond my reach?

Give me your heart for the one's forgotten

Give me your eyes so i can see

[Give Me Your Eyes - Brandon Heath]